


finally happy (with you).

by orphan_account



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Depression, F/F, Fluff, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I love this ship, Self-Harm, Zelda doesn't know that Lilth is lilth, Zelda helps madam satan, Zeldas softttt, set after part 2, tw, yet - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:41:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21699580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: after being stuck in darkness, with no emotion left, Zelda comes back into Lilth's life and brings her light.(the spellmans never find out about Lilith, they still believe that she is Mary and that she betrayed them.)
Relationships: Zelda Spellman/Mary Wardwell | Madam Satan | Lilith
Kudos: 37





	1. chapter 1

snuggled in the corner, with her head to her knees, her body riddled with sobs. blood dripping from her shiny blade and her thin, fragile arms. she hadn't been eating. she hadn't been doing anything, besides this. besides sliding that thin razor along her porcelain arms. pain. she deserved it. after all she'd done; trying to get Sabrina to sign, following the dark lord's wishes. she'd been so oblivious. so stupid. she didn't deserve anything. not happiness, safety, nothing. just pain and darkness. she hadn't felt happiness until she met Zelda. the ginger had brought light into her life; she didn't deserve it.

she cleans herself up, washing the blood off her razor and her arms, flinching as the water hits her wounds. this became a routine of sort. everyday, maybe twice a day, she would go somewhere no one would find her, and do it. feeling relieved that she was getting exactly what she deserved. she even relieved herself at school. she knew she shouldn't, her students could find her in the bathroom, practically crying, covered in blood. even worse, Sabrina could potentially see her. but the urge overcame her. always. she always made sure to cover her arms with anything she could find. this was her secret. no one needed to know how weak she truly was. how pathetic.

her and Zelda were becoming... closer again... she liked to think. as much as they pretended to despise each other, they got along. That was before the prophecy. Zelda still saw her as weak Mary. the one who betrayed her. the events of the prophecy put a bump in the road for not only Lilth and Zelda's relationship, but her and the Spell mans relationship. she tried to come up with something to tell them; an excuse for working with the dark lord. they worked out their issues, but Zelda still wasn't very trusting of her. She had every right to be, Lilith didn't even tell the whole truth. she wanted to, so badly, but she didn't want the family to hate her anymore than they already did.

in an attempt to get closer and maybe even have her aunties trust Mary again, Sabrina invited her over for a dinner. Zelda and Hilda would be there, and Lilth was worried that the dinner would go sour. she could barely give a fake smile anymore. that's just how weak and pathetic she truly is. she brought her blade with her, like always. she needed to ease the urge if it came upon her. she brought it in a small purse, with some other miscellaneous items to hide the blade if anyone were to look in her bag. she knocked on the door, feeling nervous as ever, already regretting accepting the invite. Sabrina opened the door and gave her a smile.

"Ms. Wardwell! come on in!" she waved her into the house. Lilith hadn't been here in quite a while. last time she was here, they were working out their issues from the shit show that was the prophecy of the dark lord. she followed Sabrina and sat next to her and Hilda, right across from Zelda. she could feel Zelda's eyes on her the moment she walked in.

Zelda looked her up and down. "hello Mary... nice seeing you again.." she didn't even try a fake smile. she was obviously annoyed that she was here in the first place. so far this dinner had been going exactly the way Lilith expected. sour and awkward. she fought the urge to sneak off to the bathroom and use her wonderful blade to relieve and feel again. but her resistance gave out on her. 

"I'm going to just use the restroom before we begin if that's alright." Lilith was already grabbing her purse and getting up from her seat.

Zelda eyed her and her purse wearily. "sounds good." she said in an almost sarcastic tone. 

Lilth smiled and quickly headed off to the bathroom. she sat in the corner. taking her beautiful blades out of their pouch. she fiddled with them in her hands for a little while, before taking them and piercing through her skin. her arms bled. blood dripped from the blades and her wrists onto the tile floor. she needed more. she pulled her dress up slightly. she made small lines with her blade, almost as if she were lining up a mini red army. she bled more and more before realizing she needed to clean up her mess somehow. she was sobbing a little as well. she always did, but was worried that the small family only a mere hallway from her would hear and come investigate. she took the towels she found on the rack. she put them on the floor, letting them soak the blood on the tile. she made sure you couldn't tell anything happened here, cleaning herself and her blades. she covered her arms and her upper thigh with her dress, then realizing that she had been gone for a while. she sped walked back to the table.

As Mary hurried back from a lengthly bathroom visit, Zelda noticed something.. strange.. she thought she saw blood along the hem of Mary's sleeves. she was maybe hallucinating, but she doubted it. As much as she despised the woman right now, she prayed to Satan that it wasn't what she thought it may be. she tried to ignore it, but the more she tried, the more she looked and observed, not only the hem of her sleeve, but Mary's nervous fiddling and stance. it was so unlike her. she knew something was wrong with Mary, and she would find out exactly what it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so this is my first fic ever. I need feedback to improve, its very much appreciated !! there will be more chapters, I don't know how many though. thanks for reading !!!


	2. chapter 2

dinner went surprisingly well, considering the awkward atmosphere at the beginning. Hilda's cooking was amazing, and after some time, conversation started to ensue between the four women. Zelda looked exceptionally beautiful, she knew that she had a small crush, but still, she shouldn't think of her that way. Zelda despised her and she still sensed tension and distrust from Zelda, but it seemed to lighten as the dinner continued. they eventually had to say their goodbyes. Lilith was feeling weirdly sad about going, she had a lot more fun than she thought when she came over here.

Her alarm went off, filling her ears with what felt like a deafening sound. she got up, purposely picking out a slightly longer dress to cover her scars from the previous day. she defiantly did not need questions, especially from teenagers at school. 

she arrived at the entrance, quickly making her way through the hallways and into her office, but not before she ran into Sabrina.

"Hi Ms. Wardwell!" Sabrina said with a smile on her face. sometimes, Lilith couldn't understand how she usually always was so damn happy and cheerful, even in the mornings.

"Oh, hello dear." Lilth plastered a smile on her face

"I hope you had a good time at dinner yesterday!' Sabrina said with yet another cheerful smile.

"Yes, Yes I did, Sabrina. Thank you for inviting me." 

"Ms. Wardwell, do you happen to have any spell books about performing spells, specifically in nature? I need a nature spell for a class at the academy." Sabrina said, almost with a nervous tone. 

"Of course, Sabrina! is it ok if I bring it over, or do you want me to bring it here?" Lilith hoped for the latter, she really didn't need Zelda giving her a talk to stay away from Sabrina. 

"To my house is fine. is 6 okay?" Sabrina asked with a hopeful look on her face. 

Mary shuffled nervously. she just hoped she wouldn't run into Zelda. "Yes... that should work great Sabrina." 

"ok, see you then!"

"see you!"

Lilith quickly turned the corner and bolted for her office, she did not feel like having anymore interaction for the moment. She found the book Sabrina wanted for a spell, and by the time she looked at the clock, she realized she was almost late for her class, in fact she practically forgot about it. she hurried off to her class, getting there right on time, and received some confused looks from her students as she rushed in.

after a long day of teaching, she managed to arrive at Sabrina's house with the book she needed at 6pm. she was exhausted and her was patience was thin. she rang the doorbell to not be met by Sabrina, but a seemingly tired Zelda. 

Lilith bit her tongue. she was sure this was not going to go well. "Oh, hello, Zelda! do you know where Sabrina might be?" she asked in the best tone she could without sounding impatient or completely drained. 

Zelda gave her a glare. one that was a little less demeaning than the others, but she was still clearly annoyed. "Sabrina ran off with her friends, tell me, Mary, what do you need to talk to my niece about that involves you coming out here?" Zelda asked with her eyebrows raised. As much as she was annoyed with Mary at the moment, she couldn't deny those bright blue orbs staring into her, and she couldn't just forget what she thought she saw just the day before.

Mary gave her a smile. "Oh, I'm just here to deliver Sabrina a book that she asked me to grab."

Zelda turned her gaze to the small book in Mary's hands. noting with thought that Mary was wearing long, navy sleeves. "Stay away from my niece. we do not want to deal with more shenanigans in out lives because of you! I don't care if she invites you here. my house, my rules." Zelda said with her arms crossed, still blocking the entrance into the house. 

"ok, fine. just give Sabrina the damned book. you know I didn't want to follow the dark lord, it was all I ever knew, Zelda." Lilith shoved the book into Zeldas hands.

Zelda took the book and faced back towards Mary. "Wait! It was all you ever knew, I thought you said you were unknowingly did what you did. that the dark lord deceived you." Zelda cut back with squinting eyes.

Lilith froze. she hadn't meant to out herself here, right now. "just forget it. get that book to Sabrina please." and with that, she turned, walking from the house.

"Wait!" Zelda yelled after her. Mary was already gone. Everything was getting more confusing. first the dinner, now this. she felt in the dark and as if Mary was hiding more than she said she was. Mary became more mysterious and fascinating as she interacted with her more. she intrigued her. 

she needed to get to the bottom of this. She was fascinating, as much as she pretended to hate her, she still liked her even after everything. She now knew Mary was hiding something big. now it was about what she was hiding. she had a feeling that it was more than what she could imagine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading ! constructive criticism/feedback is welcome !!


	3. chapter 3

Zelda sat with her back up against the front door frame. What did Mary mean when she said that 'it was all she knew?' her reasoning was completely different just two weeks ago. here she was, yet again, thinking about this intriguing woman. she couldn't tell whether she could trust her or not. all she wanted was for Sabrina to stay safe. Mary did save her family from that damned sleep demon batibat. However, her story kept changing. God damn it, right before this whole mess, she considered Mary Wardwell a close friend. but now she felt like she didn't know her at all. she was a stranger now. she had every reason to hate her, but she couldn't find it in her to. she still had Sabrina's book, she pushed off of the door frame, walked up the stairs, and stopped by Sabrina's room to drop the book off. Only satan knew where she'd headed off to now. all she knew was that she needed a cup of tea and a long night of rest. she desperately needed to talk to Mary soon before this blew up in her face like everything seemed to nowadays.

After a long night of rest, Zelda felt energized, maybe having enough energy to face Mary. She hopped out of bed, got dressed, and hurried off to Mary's address. She knocked. No answer. Weird she thought as she made her way to her office at Baxter High School. She wandered the halls endlessly until she finally reached a door with a label with the words 'Mary Wardwell' etched into it. she knocked, even attempting to open the door to find Mary. no, Mary wasn't at school or at home, so where could she be? how could she just suddenly vanish, just like that? she continued on home, deciding to try to find her the next day. she opened her front door and turned towards her living room only to find Mary Wardwell sitting on her couch like she owned the place. Why was she here? She wasn't gone for long; no longer that 25 minutes, did she want to talk about yesterday or dinner? There could be a million reasons that Mary Wardwell was here, but, she was done. she was done thinking about her, almost with fascination. she was sick of Mary always getting in the way of things. The woman fascinated her, but she was just about done. she almost felt the need to throw her out.

"Mary what on earth are you doing here?" Zelda said loudly and angrily, making Mary turn towards her with almost a look of confusion written on her face. 

"Well, Zelda, Sabrina happened to invite me over, and-" 

"I've told you to stay away from my niece. I am perfectly capable of taking care of her!" Zelda said with anger in her eyes. 

"I never said you weren't capable, Zelda, what made you think that?" Mary said with a sly smile.

"I am done with you and your lies, Mary, get out now! We want nothing to do with you. go before I make you!" Zelda said with a finger to the door.

"Oh, Zelda, but you do want me. I've seen the way you look at my body." With a smirk Mary leaned over to expose her cleavage. Zelda could not help but look. 

How did she notice. she'd been so discreet, hadn't she. with Mary leaned over in front of her, without thinking, she leaned over and brushed her lips against Mary's. Mary didn't hesitate. she began to deepen the kissing and drive it where she wanted to go. Lilith leaned down and began sucking on Zelda's neck. 

"We.... s-shouldn't... be... d-doing this Mary..." Zelda murmured, breathless. They shouldn't be doing this; but she didn't want it to stop. 

Mary stopped and looked up at Zelda. "do you want to stop?" She asked curious eyes. 

"n-no..." 

"then we don't stop." Mary said with a smirk.

Lilith and Zelda stumbled into Zelda's bedroom, turning the lock as they entered. Luckily, Sabrina didn't seem to be around. Zelda pushed Mary against the bed, pulling her dress down in the dark. she felt Mary flinch and pull away from her, almost to the corner of the bed.

"Mary, are you ok?" she flicked the lamp next to them on the nightstand. Mary hugged herself and pulled even further away. 

"hey... what's wrong?" Zelda said with genuine sincerity and compassion towards Mary.

"its.. its.... nothing...." Mary said, sniffling.

Zelda put her arms out. "Hey come here..." Mary couldn't resist the hug. she knew she could see her scars, but if she was quick enough, she could get a feeling a comfort and maybe even keep her secret.

Zelda put her arms around Mary in an embrace. as she pulled back from the hug after several minutes, she noticed something on Mary's wrists. Was that... scarring? 

"Mary, why are there scars on your wrists? I wanna make sure you're safe." Zelda said locking her eyes into the blue orbs in front of her. 

"i... I um....." Mary said, tears filling her eyes, threatening to spill. 

"did you... did you do it yourself.. Mary?" Zelda said, tears filling her eyes as well as Mary's were.

Mary looked at her, then, looking towards the window, she nodded. Tears spilled from her cheeks. Zelda never realized how much this woman meant to her. how much her pain hurt her as well.

"is there any...more?" Zelda asked Mary.

Mary nodded. her eyes red. "I... couldn't help it the other day, and I just... I just.. she pulled her dress the rest of the way down revealing more scars, irritated and red.

"Oh, Mary, it's ok... it's ok..." Zelda whispered as she hugged the other woman with all her might. she had a feeling. a feeling that she could be falling for Mary Wardwell. She never realized previously to these moments how near and dear the woman's safety really was to her.. all she knew now was that she was all in. all in to help Mary. She'd do anything to keep her safe.

she was falling for her, and fast.


	4. chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!! should I write more in the future? please give me feedback, have an amazing day !

The next morning. Lilith felt guilty. she didn't want others pitying her. she didn't deserve worry and concern from others, even the ones that loved her. she just didn't deserve any of that. She was falling for Zelda, especially after last night. she felt guilty for not only the concern she received from Zelda, but the fact that she still hadn't told Zelda, the one she loved the most, her true story. she wanted to tell her. badly. she didn't want what was happening between her and Zelda to end as fast as it started. she couldn't take it. she could not lose one of the only things she loved about her life. the ginger brought her light. she was the only one who ever could. she needed to tell her. even if it ended it all. she couldn't stand Zelda not knowing the truth. she couldn't stand keeping anymore secrets anymore.

She showed up to Zelda's house. without warning. she wanted to get this over with. she needed to get this over with. She knocked on the door, hearing some footsteps approaching the door. the door opened and there was Zelda, looking beautiful as ever. She didn't want to see the look of pain, and betrayal on her face that may come once she told her.

"Hey Mary, what are you doing here?" Zelda said with a genuine smile as she waved her inside. 

without answering the question, Mary said quickly, "is there anyone home, Zelda?"

Zelda was confused. "No.. Mary there isn't. is there something wrong, Mary your scaring me."

"No, no. nothing wrong. I just needed to talk to you about something... something important.." Mary said with a look of almost fear in her eyes. what ever it was, it was important. 

Zelda took her hand. "come up here and lets talk." Zelda lead Mary up the stairs, and into her bedroom, shutting the door after them.

"what did you need to talk to me about Mary?" Zelda asked as she caressed Lilith's hands.

Mary looked down. "your going to hate me for it, I already know."

Zelda put her hands on Mary's face. "I could never hate you. ever. no matter what."

Mary shook her head. "never say things you don't mean, Zelda."

Zelda smiled at her. "I mean it, Mary, with my whole heart. just tell me."

Mary looked at her nervously. "you know L-Lilith r-right?"

Zelda furrowed her eyebrows. "of course, but what does she have to do with this?"

"y-you know how I said when after the prophecy, when I said that the dark lord deceived me, and then, l-later on I said that it was all I knew?" Lilith murmured as she looked at their intertwined hands. Zelda had practically forgotten about how confused she was when she heard Mary switch up her excuse after all that mess.. in fact she never found out about it. never asked Mary about it...

"yes, I was confused when you had said both those things, because then I didn't know your motives...." Zelda said quietly. 

"t-the reason I said that 'it was all I ever knew' was because...because...."

"what, Mary, what..." Zelda said, her hands squeezing Lilith's more. 

"because I am Lilith...." Lilith whispered as she looked down. 

"L-Lilith?" Zelda whispered as she let go of the hold she had on Lilith's hands.

"see I knew it.. you hate me now.." Lilith whispered even quieter then before, as tears trickled down her face.

Zelda quickly grabbed her hands again. "no... l-lilith.. I do not hate you...all I ask is... is the dark lord the reason behind.. behind this?" she swiped a finger over Lilith's wrist with the scars.

Lilith nodded, sniffling. "the prophecy, the dark lord.. everything... I shouldn't have listened. I am a horrible person.. I don't deserve happiness... or love.."

Zelda pulled her into a hug."no Lilith... don't ever say that! you deserve happiness.. and love, Lilith. the dark lord treated you horribly. deceived you... abused you.... you deserve love. I love you, Lilith. please know that. please.." Zelda murmured into lilith's ear.

Lilith pulled back and smiled. "I love you too Zelda." as she pulled her in for another embrace.


End file.
